Why do we need an initiative like this in our community?

Sunnah Soulmates is a unique matrimonial event catering to the Muslim community in Australia. The primary objective of this event is to assist single Muslims in finding a potential spouse who shares their interests and values, as they embark on their journey towards marriage.

In our contemporary society, we find ourselves increasingly distanced from our loved ones and facing significant challenges in building personal relationships. Many of our Muslim brothers and sisters, who lead busy lives juggling work, studies, and various responsibilities, often find it difficult to engage in traditional interactions and communications which lead them towards finding a spouse. The lack of interactions and limited avenues for meeting potential life partners has created a gap for a platform that facilitates genuine connections and nurtures lasting relationships.

Looking at the statistics from similar events held worldwide, we find an undeniable pattern of success, particularly for individuals struggling to find the right partner because they are either a revert, being on their own with minimal or no family support, or because they are divorced. These events have proven to be instrumental in bringing together individuals with shared values and aspirations, offering them an opportunity to meet like-minded individuals who have walked similar paths.

Why due diligence is needed in finding a spouse?

Our research has shed light on a concerning trend, indicating that many divorces result from a lack of thorough due diligence and insufficient understanding of a partner's true character prior to marriage. The Prophet (peace be upon him) instructed us to be selective by saying, “Make good choice for your seed: marry women who are compatible to you and marry your daughters to them who are compatible.” (Sunan Ibn Majah). It is therefore paramount to ask the right questions, delve into the depths of compatibility, and seek a deep understanding of one another's values, dreams, and aspirations.

This matrimonial event aims to address this vital need by providing a platform that encourages open and meaningful conversations, empowering individuals to make well-informed decisions when it comes to selecting a spouse. Our research has found there are many Muslims in Australia that are either reverts, have no family members or friends to support them in the marriage process. Many of these individuals resort to online dating platforms or speed dating events or even illicit relationships that include violations of Islamic etiquettes and guidelines. By bringing together members of our Muslim community in Australia, we strive to create an atmosphere of trust, respect, and understanding. This event serves as a beacon of hope for those who are searching for a spouse, facilitating connections rooted in shared values, religious beliefs, and compatibility.

Can a woman's guardian attend this matrimonial event?

The event planning commences months in advance. Unlike other matrimonial events, Sunnah Soulmates operates on an invitation-only basis with the option for females to be accompanied by their Wali (Guardian), Mahram or mother. Our resident Sheikh will be present during the event assisting reverts and sisters that don’t have a Mahram currently present.

How does the selection process and event work?

Our selection process involves carefully handpicking individuals whom we believe have a high compatibility potential with others of the opposite gender. Invitations are extended based on the interests and likelihood of compatibility of the individuals. Participants who receive an invitation can expect to meet like-minded individuals at the event. During the event, attendees will be seated at tables consisting of eight to ten people, focusing on balance between genders, meticulously arranged based on compatibility factors, assigning an usher for every two tables to assist and monitor the interactions of the attendees.

Throughout the day, attendees will engage in activities thoughtfully designed to showcase their character and traits, allowing potential spouses to gain insight into their personalities, likes and dislikes. In addition to the activities, there will be short inspirational and motivational talks about marriage; giving advice about the nikkah and walimah, the obligations of the wife and husband, as well as how to maintain a healthy and happy life after the marriage.

Free mixing vs interactions

Given we adhere to the principles of the Quran and Sunnah, there will be no free mixing, no one-on-one isolated interactions with the opposite gender, no music or musical chair type activities. We don’t condone free mixing but do encourage interactions and engagement.

In Islam, it is important to differentiate between free mixing and healthy interactions with the opposite gender for the purpose of marriage. While some people may use the terms interchangeably, there are significant differences that should be understood within the context of Islamic teachings. Free mixing refers to unrestricted and casual mingling between unrelated men and women where Islamic boundaries of modesty may be compromised. On the other hand, healthy interactions with the opposite gender for the purpose of marriage involve maintaining proper conduct, respecting boundaries, and upholding Islamic principles. Healthy interactions allow individuals to get to know one another within the framework of Islamic guidelines, with the goal of establishing a strong and harmonious marital relationship.

What kind of activities can attendees expect?

One of the sample activities at the event is "The Great Compromise." Participants are presented with a list of negative characteristics and are asked to choose seven that they cannot tolerate in a spouse. They are then required to select seven characteristics they can tolerate. This intriguing yet thought-provoking activity encourages participants to contemplate the dynamics of a marriage with a partner who possesses certain traits they may not naturally be drawn to. The underlying message of this activity is to highlight the importance of compatibility in a long-lasting marriage, beyond initial attraction.

What makes us successful and unique?

A unique feature of this event is the exclusive app specifically developed for integration during the event. Through this app, attendees can view profiles of other participants, gaining insights and compatibility statistics based on shared interests and values. They can express their interest discreetly by assigning a secret star rating to other attendees. This star rating remains private until after the event, and only if mutual interest is reciprocated. Previous events held in cities around the world using this unique feature has resulted in at least 50% match between attendees, with some cities recording 80% plus.

How are the identities of the attendees protected at the event?

At no point during the event will attendees have access to personal contact details such as phone numbers or email addresses, ensuring controlled and limited communication. During the event, we explain the process of proposing to the Wali (guardian) of the woman if there has been a successful match and the Islamic guidelines around proposal and courtship. This includes information, such as a woman not being allowed to accept the proposal of another man if she is already engaged or that a man proposes to a woman when she is already engaged.

What does Islam say about looking at the opposite gender in such a context?

Looking at the opposite gender with the intention of marriage is encouraged, because it is the basis on which a very important decision affecting a person’s life will be taken. Our research has found that from amongst the reasons of divorce is having married based on their partner's cultural or religious values, while not also considering compatibility and attraction. The Sunnah includes several narrations encouraging the looking with the intention of marriage.

From Jabir ibn ‘Abd-Allah: “The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: ‘If one of you proposes marriage to a woman, if he can look at her to see that which will encourage him to go ahead and marry her, then let him do so.’ I proposed marriage to a young woman, and I used to hide where I could see her, until I saw that which encouraged me to go ahead and marry her, so I did so.’” (Sahih Abu Dawood, no. 1832, 1834)

From al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah: “I proposed marriage to a woman, and the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: ‘Have you seen her?’ I said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Look at her, because it is more fitting that love and compatibility be established between you.’” According to another report: “So he did that, and he married her and mentioned that they got along.” (Ibn Maajah, 1/574)

Can a woman propose or show interest in a man?

It was narrated that Thaabit al Banaani said: I was with Anas ibn Maalik and a daughter of his was with him. He said: “A woman came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) and offered herself in marriage to him. She said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, do you want to marry me?’” The daughter of Anas said: “How little was her modesty. How shameless, how shameless!” Anas said: “She was better than you; she had a liking for the Prophet (peace be upon him) so she offered herself in marriage to him.” (Sahih Bukhari)

Commenting on this hadith, Imam Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said: "This hadith indicates that it is permissible for a woman to offer herself in marriage to a man, and to let him know that she has a liking for him, and there is nothing wrong with her doing so. And the one to whom a woman offers herself in marriage has the choice of either accepting or refusing, but he does not have to express his refusal outright, rather it is sufficient for him to remain silent." (Fath al-Baari, 9/175.)

Is Sunnah Soulmates event halal?

It is crucial to remember the core tenets of our faith.

The Qur’an states, "The command (or the judgement) is for none but Allah. He has commanded that you worship none but Him" [Yoosuf 12:40]. It also cautions us not to make false declarations of what's permissible and what's not, as per the verse in al-Nahl 16:116.

As fellow believers, we look towards the guidance of the Quran and Sunnah, making our best judgement according to these guidelines, and we collectively draw upon the wisdom of the Sahabah (Companions of the Prophet (peace be upon him)), the Taabieen (the generation following the Sahabah), and the Salaf's early Islamic generations' interpretations. It's through these perspectives that we understand and interpret our religious texts.

Our approach towards new developments should always be measured and consultative. If the Quran or Sunnah, the sayings of the Sahabah, the Taabieen, or the scholars of the Salaf do not directly address an issue, we're encouraged to engage in thoughtful dialogue with trustworthy scholars and individuals who understand our faith, in line with Allah's advice: "So ask of those who know the Scripture" [al-Nahl 16:43].

These scholars' role is to carefully examine these new situations and draw parallels to existing Islamic teachings. They also take into account the principles of necessity and the potential harm or benefits to the interests of Shariah, guided by the basic general principles of Shariah.

In the spirit of our shared faith and mutual respect, we hope this understanding allows us all to navigate these issues with wisdom and compassion, recognising that Allah knows best.

Summary

In conclusion, the Sunnah Soulmates matrimonial singles event stands as a vital platform that addresses the pressing need within the Muslim community for support in finding compatible spouses. By implementing measures to safeguard Islamic morals and values, this event creates a secure and supportive environment where individuals can connect with like-minded counterparts who share their beliefs and aspirations, upholding the principles of modesty, respect, and compatibility.

We pray that this event will be of great success and a positive initiative for our Muslim community.

Bilal Dannoun

Sunnah Soulmates
admin@sunnahsoulmates.com